Managing Expectations

I’ve come to the conclusion that usually at the root of every disappointment is unfulfilled expectations. We ask a friend to do us a favor and the answer is “no” or there is silence. We thought we nailed that job interview, but no follow-up call comes. It was a great first date (or so we thought), but we never hear from the person again: no call, no text, no tweet, no facebook mention. Nothing.

We are sad, bordering on depression. If only we hadn’t set ourselves up with our expectations. We want to blame the other person for his or her freewill response (including the decision not to respond), yet we overlook our reaction, which is the only thing we can control.

I have to remind myself constantly to take my expectations, all of them, off of people, and put them on God (even in small matters). I remember the time  I was so disappointed that I cried in the middle of the bed after not getting a job offer for my “dream” assignment. After I stopped shedding tears, I asked God “why?” He said, I was waiting for you to ask me. First of all, you never took the time to ask me if this job were my plans for you. You simply assumed that it was since it was what you wanted. Second, you must trust that I know what’s best for you and I am the God of “closed” doors as well as “open” doors.

It took me years later to see that God was right. That job would have  taken my career in a totally different direction. I prefer the way that God orchestrated it.

So what’s the answer? Give people the freedom to please or disappoint you. Train yourself to think the best and not the worst. Refuse to allow a root of bitterness to sprout up. Give all expectations to God and see Him in the refusals.  The psalmist said, “My soul waits only upon God for my expectation is from Him.” God can handle all of our expectations. Humans can’t.


One Response to “Managing Expectations”

  1. Gina moore Says:


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