Archive for November, 2009

The “Precious” in Me

November 22, 2009

There has been much buzz about the new movie “Precious.”  I have read many of  the reviews and watched interviews with the stars.  I know that the story line unearths hidden places of the heart.   While I don’t plan to see the movie, I can relate to the title character in my own way. By God’s grace, I know nothing of sexual or verbal abuse, but I do know something about low self-esteem and retreating to a fantasy world, as “Precious” did to mask the emotional pain.

Growing up as the only girl among 7 brothers, I struggled with low self-esteem. While I was an achiever in school, I desperately wanted to be admired for  beauty not my brains.  That never happened.   Why couldn’t I look like my mother,  I asked God. Why did no guys ask me out?”   I fantasized often about a loving relationship with the guy of my dreams. I shared my frustration and desire with no one but God. At least I had a relationship with  Him, so I poured my heart out to Him often.  After all, He made me.  And He never makes mistakes.  I could share with Him my secrets and He would tell no one.

Over time, God whispered to me and reminded me, that I defined his definition of “beauty,” and that I was “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  My personality, my looks, the entire package would never preclude me from receiving God’s best. It was my job to maximize all He had given me and leave the rest to Him.

So many times we never become all God deemed us to be because we focus on our “inadequacy.”  God says, in Me, you have All that you need to accomplish your purposes. Join your life with me, learn of  Me, and you be a whole person, inside and out.

I wish Precious had been introduced to Jesus as a child like I had. It would have made all the difference in her life.  My deep, abiding faith in Him has defined me ALL my life.  I wake up every day thankful that I am a fully loved woman. Not because I have a man in my life, but because I am in deep, covenant relationship with the God of the Universe. He loved me so much that He gave me His best, His Son Jesus Christ. Because I spend quality time basking in that relationship, my thirst for significance has been quenched. I am a whole woman, free to give, not merely waiting to receive.

Expecting great things of God,