Excellent Living's Blog

What’s Different

excellentliving — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:17:37 +0000

I love the beginning of a New Year. It’s an opportunity to start over again. We can learn from the past and embrace the new. We can determine to control what we can control. What’s on your control list? What will be different for you in 2012? Here are some items on my Control List:

1. Trust God no matter what. Believe He can handle whatever comes my way. Show my belief by how I respond. Talk is cheap.

2. Seek His Will not my way.

3. Mind my own business. I love how Elisabeth Elliot puts it: Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. And remember, there are very few things that are really your business.

4. Do the best with what I’ve been given. Take risks and move forward with my creative ideas. This will keep me busy all year.

5. Refuse to compare, compete, criticize, or control.

I’ve discovered that we experience great peace when we stay in our lane and without distraction, focus on what we’re called to do, learn from our failures, and determine to retool and do life differently in order to reach our goals.

Seasons

excellentliving — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:13:21 +0000

“To everything there is a season.” We are so familiar with the wise words of Solomon but how many of us accept life’s seasons with a smile? When we are children, we are so anxious to grow up and become adults. When we’ve been adults for awhile, we want to freeze time and our “best” look. (Fortunately, we have a lot of options to help us do that on the surface.)

A wise person embraces each season with acceptance and grace, knowing it includes gains and losses and always God’s guidance. What we encounter never surprises Him because He scheduled every day of our lives before one day came to be. (Psalm 139) He always goes before us when we have entrusted Him with our dreams and our lives.

It’s my prayer that I don’t try to carry over one season into another, and that I’m always realistic about what I bring to the table in each one. As Amy Carmichael said, “In acceptance lieth peace.”

We may prefer one season over another, but all are necessary for the masterpiece He is creating.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

excellentliving — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 15:01:54 +0000

What a miserable existence to keep longing and hoping for a specific person or family members to show you love and they refuse. You try to block it out of your mind and for a time, that works. Then the ache returns followed by tears. Why do we long for love so much? Why do we long for it from somone incapable of giving it or showing it?

God who is love made us to love. The “ache” of absence always turns my eyes and my heart back to God. He loves completely always. He is never “hot” or “cold” towards us based on our performance. Solid as a Rock.

He has been with me in every season of life, knowing every hurt and disappointment, seeing every tear, comforting me, and cheering me on with every accomplishment, because He made it possible.

I remember Him reassuring me as I walked to kindergarten that He loved me. I remember Him standing by me, when the man I loved would not. He reminds me over and over, “I will NEVER leave you or forsake you.” What matchless love! I couldn’t live one day without it, wouldn’t want to. How people make it in life without the imprint and embrace of God’s love is beyond me.

His Love is indeed more than enough.

Managing Expectations

excellentliving — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 21:52:41 +0000

I’ve come to the conclusion that usually at the root of every disappointment is unfulfilled expectations. We ask a friend to do us a favor and the answer is “no” or there is silence. We thought we nailed that job interview, but no follow-up call comes. It was a great first date (or so we thought), but we never hear from the person again: no call, no text, no tweet, no facebook mention. Nothing.

We are sad, bordering on depression. If only we hadn’t set ourselves up with our expectations. We want to blame the other person for his or her freewill response (including the decision not to respond), yet we overlook our reaction, which is the only thing we can control.

I have to remind myself constantly to take my expectations, all of them, off of people, and put them on God (even in small matters). I remember the time I was so disappointed that I cried in the middle of the bed after not getting a job offer for my “dream” assignment. After I stopped shedding tears, I asked God “why?” He said, I was waiting for you to ask me. First of all, you never took the time to ask me if this job were my plans for you. You simply assumed that it was since it was what you wanted. Second, you must trust that I know what’s best for you and I am the God of “closed” doors as well as “open” doors.

It took me years later to see that God was right. That job would have taken my career in a totally different direction. I prefer the way that God orchestrated it.

So what’s the answer? Give people the freedom to please or disappoint you. Train yourself to think the best and not the worst. Refuse to allow a root of bitterness to sprout up. Give all expectations to God and see Him in the refusals. The psalmist said, “My soul waits only upon God for my expectation is from Him.” God can handle all of our expectations. Humans can’t.

Intentional Gratitude

excellentliving — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 11:16:33 +0000

When I was praying this morning an idea came to me that I had never tried before: intentionally thank God for the great qualities you admire in family members; refuse to focus on the ones you don’t. I did just that. I named each person and thanked God for what made him special. This was a breakthrough exercise for me.

It’s so easy to fill our minds with what’s wrong with a person or a decision they made rather than what’s good about them. I’m so glad that when God looks at me, He chooses to fill His mind with His plans for me, His love for me, and the masterpiece He is creating as I cooperate with Him.

Let’s thank God for our family members and intentionally focus on their personal best.

Heart Check-up

excellentliving — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 17:38:23 +0000

I spoke to a group of singles last Saturday night about making this practice a priority: a heart check-up. Not of our physical heart, but of our innermost being, the master control of our life, the seat of our intellect, emotions, will, attitudes, and our actions. Why? Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep (or guard) your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life.”

Our “heart” is our most valuable commodity. It controls everything we do. What’s lodging in yours? Envy, jealousy, anger, lust, bitterness, insecurity, pride, unforgiveness, racism, arrogance, gossip, or slander?

Get serious about extracting (by God’s power) everything that is destroying your heart. I got angry during a conversation recently. The encounter forced me to drop to my knees and ask God to clean my heart of all hurt and disappointment and change how I “react” to others’ actions. I also apologized to the person and asked for forgiveness. I didn’t realize I had this “heart” issue until I had that conversation. That’s why a heart check-up needs to be regular.

Voice Recognition

excellentliving — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 12:00:02 +0000

A dear friend called me this morning and left an encouraging voicemail message. As usual, she gave her name at the beginning of the message. When I responded I thanked her for her uplifting message but then added, “in the future, you don’t have to say your name, because I know your voice.”

Why could I say that confidently? Because we’ve been talking and hanging out for years. We pray together at least once a week. I know her voice!

If we have had a long time relationship with Jesus as our dear friend, walking and talking with Him on a regular basis, we should know His voice. We should not be confused. Jesus said, My sheep know my voice. What clears up any confusion? Spending more time with Him every day, listening more than talking.

Litter

excellentliving — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 14:47:52 +0000

I hate litter. Can I say it more clearly? When I’m walking the grounds of my complex, without fail, I see litter. Many times, I’ll stop and pick it up especially if I find an empty bag to put it in. When I return to the neighborhood where I grew up, I see the blight of litter. I detest it.

Why won’t people pick up their own trash? Why leave it for someone else to see, to clean up?

If each person took responsibility for keeping his or her space clean, we wouldn’t have a litter problem would we?

If I took responsibility for examining my life on a daily basis, reading God’s Word (His cleansing agent), and applying it, making sure my heart is clean, I wouldn’t litter other people’s lives with the trash of harsh words, unkind thoughts, and actions. Instead, when they came around me, they would only experience a refreshing of the soul and the beauty of holiness, a sweet aroma.

Consistency

excellentliving — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:18:30 +0000

I was sufficiently convicted after reading Matthew 24 this morning in The Message Bible. Jesus stated His qualifications for promotion: vigilance, dependability, consistency (on time, every day), and always doing the job even when no one is watching (but of course He is always watching).

He desires consistency in small matters. So do I. I asked a friend to call me last night between the hours of 8 and 9. The response email said: No problem whatsoever. I want to be 100 percent cooperative. But by 9 o’clock, no phone call. I did get a call around 9:15 with this apology: I started to call earlier, but then my neighbor asked me to help with a project. All I could think was, “What happened to the promise you made to me first?”

The more I thought about this, the more my finger started pointing to me. How many times have I made a promise to the Lord or to someone else, with every intention of doing so, and then another option came up that I preferred or it just seemed more pressing than what I had promised? I did not keep my word. Ouch!

My distrations are NEVER an excuse for breaking my promises. What if God operated like that? I’m so sorry, I got carried away in a great conversation and forgot to bring the sun up this morning. I guess you’ll just have to be in the dark all day. God says it’s better not to make a vow, then to make one and not keep it.

I can’t do anything about all the promises I did not keep. Thank God for His grace and forgiveness and for the grace and mercy of my friends. But today (with God’s strength and grace), I will keep my word.

Heavenly Anniversary

excellentliving — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 13:27:32 +0000

Today marks the one year anniversary of my father experiencing the joys and delights of heaven. I know he’s enjoying every minute in God’s presence because his greatest delight on earth was praising God. He never cared who saw him or what they thought. The only thing that mattered to Elihue Martin was obeying the truth he knew. God’s Word and His Word alone was the standard by which he made all his decisions.

My oldest brother, Truman, and I were talking this morning about how naive we were growing up. We thought everybody told the truth (especially church folks and preachers). Why? My father and mother always spoke the truth and lived the truth. We didn’t know people could look at you with a straight face and lie! I was in shock the first time it happened to me.

I have thought of Dad often this past year and his standard, his uncompromising standard. He stood for being a righteous and holy man. A man who was the head of his home. A man who respected authority. A man who never buckled under outside pressures to conform to the culture or what is comfortable. He was willing to walk that lonely road of being misunderstood and talked about as long as (in his mind) he was pleasing His Savior.

Lord, help me as Elihue Martin’s daughter and your child, live an uncompromising life…seeking your approval alone.