Think Nothing

I learned a valuable lesson this morning I hope to never forget. I was in the parking lot clearing the snow from my car when I noticed a neighbor drive by in a Lexus SUV. I thought: “Wow, Ellen got a new car. That’s great.”  Fifteen minutes later, she walked by me as she headed into the building saying, “The roads are fine, once you get past the side streets.” I said, “Thanks for letting me know. Oh, and Ellen I love your new Lexus.”  She said, “Ah, that’s not my car, that’s my nephew’s. He let me borrow it while mine is in the shop.”

I couldn’t help but think how I “assumed” it was Ellen’s car because I saw her driving it and how easy it is to get the facts wrong based on what I “see.” If I hadn’t had that conversation with Ellen, chances are I may have mentioned to another neighbor, “Did you see Ellen’s new car? It’s nice.” What I said would not be damaging, but it would be wrong.

Another lesson for me: not to judge what appears to be “good” or “bad” without getting all the facts. Looks are deceiving. I need to take the advice one of the old mothers in the church, Mother Addie B. Johnson, told my mother: “think nothing.”

Think nothing. I like that.  Think nothing. Say nothing. Can’t go wrong.

The Gift of You

Yesterday was my birthday. I was thankful all day for the gift of life, excellent health, wonderful family and friends. It was great getting gifts and warm wishes from friends.

Two were especially touching. One long time friend who lives somewhat like a nomad remembered my birthday. He sent me a mp3 with him singing “Happy Birthday.”  It touched me because I’ve known him since I was 18 and the greatest gift he’s always given me is his kindness, wrapped in unselfishness.

The other birthday greeting was left on my answering machine in a faint voice.  It was from a dear friend battling tongue cancer who said, “I would sing ‘happy birthday’ to you if I could.” It brought tears to my eyes because he remembered me in the midst of his pain. I remembered his kindness…always wrapped in unselfishness.

Both of these friends over the years believe they bring very little to the table. I so disagree. I treasure their friendship. They have given much…the best of themselves.

So many times in life we can feel inadequate because we don’t have what others have; We believe we are not as beautiful or smart or financially secure. We wonder, “what do I bring to the table, how can I make a difference, how can God use me?” Just give the best of YOU. That is more than enough. You will make someone else’s day brighter.

My Gift

My heart is overwhelmed with JOY this morning. I have so many reflections on life with “the gift.” I was just a child when one Tuesday evening a child evangelist explained  (using a felt board and paper figurines) that God loved me so much that He gave me His Best gift, His only Son, to live, and then die for my sins. God knew I needed this gift, a Savior, more than anything.

Sis. Copeland told me that all I had to do was to receive this gift and it was mine.  I believed her and said a prayer of thanks for the gift of Christ as my Savior. I invited Him to live in my heart forever. Boy, am I glad I did.  He has never left me since that monumental day.  Every day I sense His presence.

I am so enraptured by His love because He’ll give His gift to anybody who wants it. It’s not reserved for only the rich, the beautiful, the famous. He came to me, a girl from Houston’s 5th Ward (some call the ghetto), of working class parents who loved Him as well.  A girl with hangups, insecurities, doubts. He whispered to me what every woman wants to hear: “I love you intensely, and will never leave you.” His love has defined me all my life. I can’t live without it. When my heart has been broken, He was standing by to comfort me and say, Cheryl, come to me. I’ll heal your hurts. When I didn’t know how my financial needs would be met, He whispered, Cheryl, don’t worry about that. Haven’t I always come through?”  All I could answer was, Yes, Lord.

I want to give My Savior and Lord a gift this Christmas. What do you give One who has everything, who created everything? I’ve got it! I promise to give Him my ALL, to hold nothing back from Him in 2010. I promise to empty myself of myself and follow His script. After all, what He longs for most is my heart. He wants me to give it to Him freely. I can do that gladly for the One who pursued me and loved me first.

Merry Christmas,

Cheryl

A Few Good Men

Character counts. Godly character really counts.

 I will never forget what Wintley Phipps once told me, “Cheryl, if a man is not committed to God, he will not be committed to you.”

I am confident that there are men today who are committed to being men of standard. I reflected on this while hearing a message from Pastor John K. Jenkins on A Few Good Men.  He mentioned that men are not perfect and that all have flaws, but there is still a remnant seeking to be all God wants them to be.

My mind immediately went to my father, Rev. Elihue Martin. Each year I have a greater appreciation of what he represents. Maybe I think of him more because of his failing health the past few years. I realize I did not appreciate him as much as I should when I was growing up. I thought most men were like him. Now I know him to be a rare breed.

Elihue Martin only completed the sixth grade. He served in World War II and later went to a trade school and picked up the skills to be a barber. I passed his shop every day as I walked to elementary school. He cut hair by day and rushed home in the evenings to attend church services.

All of my life, I have only known him to be a man of godly integrity. It was not unusual for me to see him reading his Bible,  on his knees praying, or lying prostrate before God late at night. He consistenly led family devotions six mornings a week. We had Sunday school at home before we went to Sunday school. He never lied to us. He said “a man’s word is his bond.” I never heard him use profanity. Never a hint of adultery or flirtation with another woman. He taught my 7 brothers and me a strong work ethic. No one was allowed to sleep late. We had to respect his rules. He taught us to respect authority. He and mother never cared how others ran their houses. They were committed to obeying God no matter what, not winning a popularity contest.  My Dad preached against credit before we got our first credit cards. He always taught living below your means. Forget about keeping up with the Joneses. He was consumed with keeping up with God’s commandments.

My father isn’t perfect but I know in my heart he has done his absolute best to please God. In just a few months, he will turn 90. Yes, there remains a few good men.

Expecting great things of God,

Cheryl

The “Precious” in Me

There has been much buzz about the new movie “Precious.”  I have read many of  the reviews and watched interviews with the stars.  I know that the story line unearths hidden places of the heart.   While I don’t plan to see the movie, I can relate to the title character in my own way. By God’s grace, I know nothing of sexual or verbal abuse, but I do know something about low self-esteem and retreating to a fantasy world, as “Precious” did to mask the emotional pain.

Growing up as the only girl among 7 brothers, I struggled with low self-esteem. While I was an achiever in school, I desperately wanted to be admired for  beauty not my brains.  That never happened.   Why couldn’t I look like my mother,  I asked God. Why did no guys ask me out?”   I fantasized often about a loving relationship with the guy of my dreams. I shared my frustration and desire with no one but God. At least I had a relationship with  Him, so I poured my heart out to Him often.  After all, He made me.  And He never makes mistakes.  I could share with Him my secrets and He would tell no one.

Over time, God whispered to me and reminded me, that I defined his definition of “beauty,” and that I was “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  My personality, my looks, the entire package would never preclude me from receiving God’s best. It was my job to maximize all He had given me and leave the rest to Him.

So many times we never become all God deemed us to be because we focus on our “inadequacy.”  God says, in Me, you have All that you need to accomplish your purposes. Join your life with me, learn of  Me, and you be a whole person, inside and out.

I wish Precious had been introduced to Jesus as a child like I had. It would have made all the difference in her life.  My deep, abiding faith in Him has defined me ALL my life.  I wake up every day thankful that I am a fully loved woman. Not because I have a man in my life, but because I am in deep, covenant relationship with the God of the Universe. He loved me so much that He gave me His best, His Son Jesus Christ. Because I spend quality time basking in that relationship, my thirst for significance has been quenched. I am a whole woman, free to give, not merely waiting to receive.

Expecting great things of God,

Cheryl

 

 

An Unexpected Fall

Saturday, I fell. Literally…in public view on a main street in my neighborhood. I was walking a  familiar route. I’m not sure what happened, except maybe my right foot hit a crack in the sidewalk and I went tumbling face down. I instinctively put my left palm to the ground to protect my face from touching the concrete. It worked, but the fall ripped skin from my palm. Painful. And my right knee had some scratches.

One kind lady in a passing car stopped and asked if I were okay as I attempted to regain my bearings. I said, “yes,” thanked her and kept walking, but more slowly and deliberately.

My hand continues to heal, but I’ve been thinking about that fall. It happened suddenly and without warning. Isn’t that how it usually happens? Mishaps and embarrassing situations happen in life without warning. We’re upright and the next thing, we are down.  Some get up to start over; some don’t.

The next time I went walking, I was deliberately more careful with every step. I didn’t want to fall again. The Bible says, “Be careful how you walk. Watch your life and doctrine closely.”  I’m reminded that it doesn’t say spend time watching how other folks walk, but fully concentrate on how I’m living, walking, and talking. I’m finding that’s a full time job to make sure I don’t fall “spiritually.”

A Reason to Celebrate

Labor Day Weekend 2009 is one I will always remember. It was a rare instance for my seven brothers and five sister-in-laws to be together. The occasion? The 40th wedding anniversary of my brother Donald and his wife Linda. Donald is my second oldest brother, but the first to get married. He and his two children planned the event for more than a year. It was a surprise for Linda. We all received the “save the date” cards way in advance, so there was no excuse not to be there. All the hard work and planning paid off.

Linda thought she was at the boutique hotel to take official family photos and  have an anniversary dinner with my brother. She was shocked when she opened the door, saw the spiral staircase draped with the wedding party, the robed minister (my oldest brother) standing at the podium, and 100 guests looking on. She cried loud enough for all to hear.

It was so moving to hear them renew their vows followed by my brother’s written declaration to his wife. I still remember this line: “Linda, you are still the most beautiful woman to me.” I knew my brother meant it because he’s not the verbal type when it comes to expressing his emotion. His wife was in tears. Isn’t that what most women yearn to hear years into the marriage, after children, grandchildren, and a few extra pounds? He spoke of her being a godly woman, a praying woman, a great mother to their two children and grandchildren.  When it was Linda’s turn, she said “I don’t have prepared remarks, since I didn’t know about this,” but she spoke from her heart about what a great husband Donald has been and that she has never lacked for anything. She spoke of his godliness. Then the children blessed their parents, speaking of their impact in their lives.

While wathching the ceremony, I couldn’t help but think, this is REAL LOVE, Love that goes the distance, no matter what. Love that is not based on feelings, but rooted in faith.

This celebration was much more elaborate than the first. This is how it should be. They have a reason to celebrate. Their love is lasting.

Be Kind to You

Once I asked a friend to do a favor for me while I was away. She agreed. A couple of days later she left me a distressed voicemail message. She apologized profusely for “botching” up the request. That didn’t bother me, but what she said about herself did.  She repeatedly put herself down for not doing what she had promised.   I was so disturbed by how she described herself.  Her mistake was a “minor” one in my opinion. And even if it were “major,”  it did not justify her  description of herself.

I called her back and told her it was okay. We all make mistakes, and that I had made a similar one recently. I also told her not to be so hard on herself.

So many times we are more courteous and forgiving of others, then we are of ourselves. Putting ourselves down when we “mess” up could be a reflection of pride because we think we are above making simple mistakes. We are all fallible.

Be kind and forgiving to yourself when you fail.  All humans fail. Only God never fails.

Fleeting Beauty

Last Tuesday, I got an early morning shock. When I glanced in the bathroom mirror, my left eye looked like I’d been in a fight with Mike Tyson and he won! What was going on? I couldn’t believe it. When I went to bed, my eye was fine. A few hours later, it was half open and I was severely swollen from below my eyebrow to below the eye. For a quick moment, I was scared. Was this permanent? What caused it?   So many thoughts ran through my mind in a matter of seconds such as, I don’t control anything. Life is uncertain. Something can happen in a matter or seconds to totally change the course of your life. All is fleeting. 

I also thought about the price we put on outward beauty. Women can be obsessed about how to stop the aging process. Our identity and self worth can be based on our looks. I thought of what Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty does not last, but the woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.”

As I gazed at how disfigured I looked, I wondered how would people respond to me? Would I sense rejection by a quick glance and then a look the other way? I was becoming more self conscious. I thought of all the people who are born with a physical impairment.  How are they treated on a daily basis? How do I respond? With love and acceptance, or do I withdraw? God made them as He made me.  I vowed (with God’s help) to have a greater sensitivity to other people , no matter their stage or station in life.

If we are born beautiful, we had nothing to do with that. If we were born with an impairment, we had nothing to do with that. Everyone can bring glory to God, the Creator of all.

I got an appointment with my ophthalmologist. He diagnosed the problem and gave me two prescriptions. He told me it would take a couple of days for the swelling to dissipate. He was right.

I look like my old self again, but I’ve gained a new perspective on beauty.

Expecting great things of God,

Cheryl

Content with Cancer

Whenever a person is diagnosed with cancer, typically one of the first questions to the doctor is, “What can we do to eradicate the cancer?” The options could be surgery, followed by radiation and chemotherapy. We know the downsides of the treatment plan, but the advantages outweigh them hands down.  We will take extreme measures. We want to live.

I wish we were that motivated to eradicate the cancer that is killing our inner man. We walk around with bitterness, resentment, envy, pride, anger, lust for years. Living with cancer. Content. These cancer cells are looming larger every day we don’t seek treatment. They bombard our thought lives constantly.

When we catch them early, refuse to live that way, and go to the Great Physician for surgery, we can be healed. The cancer doesn’t have to be terminal. Unfortunately, countless thousands choose death rather than life.

Don’t live with cancer of the soul. You can beat it. Make a daily appointment with the Great Physician. Follow His treatment plan. It works.

Expecting great things of God,

Cheryl